You are walking down a busy street when someone suddenly steps into your path with a polished smile

"Hello! Hi!"

The man is impeccably dressed in a fitted suit, his tie perfectly straight, his shoes shining like mirrors. A big sleek badge pinned to his jacket simply reads: “MR. FREE.”

He gestures toward a nearby booth covered in banners you somehow had not noticed before.

"Today is your lucky day because I am offering you access to our brand new revolutionary product completely free of charge!"

He says the word “free” with the reverence of a priest delivering a sacred prophecy.

"No payment. No subscription fees. No hidden costs."

He flashes you a confident grin. He pats an absurdly thick contract into your hands. It lands with enough weight to suggest minor structural damage.

The document keeps unfolding.

And unfolding.

You are fairly certain there are chapters.

"Oh, don’t worry about all that! It’s just the standard registration packet."

Mr. Free laughs, waving a dismissive hand. He leans closer.

"Between you and me, nobody actually reads it."

He takes out from under the booth what seems to be a survey form.

"But before I tell you about my product, do you mind if I ask you a few questions?"