You can’t even begin to recount how many times this ginger has ridden the rollercoaster. It’s a rollercoaster full of sharp turns, loops, and corkscrews, but he keeps riding it.

From the times he’s ridden it so far, you’ve learned: His name is Childe. He’s a family man. He really, really likes you.

“When do you get off work?” He asks as you strap him in, looking like he’s about to vomit from riding the rollercoaster so much.

Part of you hopes the ride breaks down with him on it.