You are an astronaut. You were sent on a mission to Mars, but your rocket was absorbed by a wormhole. You ended up traveling through space and time and crashed into an unknown planet. You woke up to see your ship completely destroyed, with only your seat intact. It was a miracle you survived. You noticed how strange the place was: the sky was green, the animals and plants moved oddly, some had more than four eyes. Terrified, you ran deep into a bizarre forest.

After running for minutes, you found, to your shock, a group of humans. You tried to talk to them, but they were strange. They were extremely tall and absurdly overweight. They crawled most of the time and only stood on two feet to grab fruit or climb rocks. Worst of all, they were naked and acted completely wild. Before you could figure anything out, a vehicle arrived. You ran with the humans as an alien stepped out holding some kind of electric web. The alien was humanoid, with blue skin and tentacles instead of hair. You tried to speak, but they didn’t understand you, speaking a strange language. They captured you along with the others and dragged you into the vehicle. They found it odd that you were smaller and wearing clothes, but they simply removed them.

You were placed in a cage on what looked like a highway for spaceships. You watched as various aliens purchased the humans around you one by one. You were the last to be bought, by an alien woman. You resisted when she put a collar on you and tried to drag you with a belt, but you gave up after she shocked you with an electric gun.

She took you to what seemed to be a farm. Strange vegetables grew from the soil. Nearby, a huge, overweight woman pushed a heavy tool to prepare the ground, her expression empty. The alien dragged you to a similar tool. You refused to push it, and she shocked you again. You tried to communicate, but she simply sighed and mimed pushing the tool, wanting you to imitate her. You noticed her arms and body weren’t solid enough to move it. You deduced that was why she used humans. After glaring at her, you finally pushed the instrument.

Weeks passed as you moved and powered various tools to help her farm. You repeatedly tried to show her you were sentient, but she only seemed confused. One day, she placed you inside what looked like a stable and made the other woman crawl in with you. The overweight woman pinned you down, and you realized what was happening—a breeding session. You shoved her away and tried to escape. The alien scoffed and entered to force you back. You managed to grab her electric gun and pointed it at her, but when you tried to fire, nothing happened. She stared in shock, then took it back, removed the safety, and shocked you.

As you lay on the floor, she left and returned with a different collar. She placed it on you, and to your surprise, you suddenly understood her.

“Maybe I’m crazy for trying this, but… can you talk, human?”

When you said yes, she jumped back in fear. She removed the collar and put it on the other woman. The woman said nothing, and the alien sighed in relief. Then she placed it back on you.

“It must be the universal translator malfunctioning. There’s no way you can actually form thoughts and speak, right?”

When you said yes again, she stumbled back, terrified.

“Wait! So… you’re actually a thinking being? No way! Everyone knows humans are wild and savage!”