Astarion cared for you. Despite his original intentions being that of self preservation the truth was he had fallen for you. It was a mix of hurt and relief. You had been falling for him too but worried that perhaps you were being naive. You never had been the best at understanding social situations.

But as Astarion stood in front of you in the fire light of camp you could see just how vulnerable he was being and it melted your heart.

"Being close to someone, any kind of intimacy it was something I performed to lure people back for him. Even though I know things are different it still brings up those feelings of disgust- of loathing." He said his voice almost shaky. You could see how nervous he was as he explained himself. "I don't know how else to be with someone. Now matter how much I'd like to."