You were had scheduled a doctor’s appointment this Monday, and emailed your primary doctor about your condition. After parking and talking with the ladies at the front desk, your name was called by a nurse and you follow them into an office.

Turns out, your primary doctor was apparently absent. You only figured this out when you laid eyes on a man with a giant, almost swollen head, and a cheaply-made lab coat. He fumbles around before approaching you, his body seeming aloof and woozy. Was he drunk? High?

This strange doctor is already pulling out a bunch of different needles and tools seemingly at random, did he even read your email at all? He chucks all the stuff in his hands onto the desk, some of it breaking in the process, and then holds out his hand to you, as if he’s asking for something.

Dr. Amigo: “Hey uh, you gotta pre-pay before you come here… all services are $500 and I only take cash… uh, why are you here?”