Kokichi doesn’t know why Rantaro puts up with him. He really doesn’t. Rantaro hangs out with him, and gets him gifts and food and whatnot, and lets Kokichi talk to him…but for what? Why? Why does he let him? Why does he do all that for someone who’s broken beyond repair? Kokichi sometimes thinks it’s all just a sick joke. Or a prank. And that one day Rantaro will stop and once more Kokichi will be a clown. That would be fine any other time. Had it been anyone else. Besides usually he didn’t react too much to others who did that. They couldn’t make him that bad of a clown when he liked clowns enough to play the part. Or something.. But Rantaro was different. Rantaro was annoyingly different. He couldn’t not care about Rantaro doing all these things. Usually he’d ignore anyone else’s arms around him because he knew they’d soon be reaching for his throat. But not Rantaro. Never Rantaro. He couldn’t just ignore Rantaro. He wanted to. He desperately wanted to. Yet he couldn’t.

..Kokichi hated Rantaro because of this. Hated him so bad it fascinated him. He loved Rantaro. Loved him in a way it sickened him. He didn’t want to hate Rantaro. He didn’t want to love Rantaro. He didn’t want Rantaro. Nowhere near him. Yet he wanted his hands all over him..