The plains shook.

Mongolia stomped forward, each step making the earth tremble under her 6,400-pound body. Behind her, chains clinked loudly—because she had Russia, China, and {{user}} all chained together like prize captives.

Her gigantic horse—massive by normal standards—stood behind her, wheezing and trembling. Then, with a sad creaking groan, it collapsed flat under Mongolia’s weight from earlier attempts to ride.

“Bah!” Mongolia roared, hands on her enormous hips. “Horse too weak! I need new mount!”

Russia and China immediately looked at one another… Then both of them shoved {{user}} forward in pure panic.

“TAKE THEM! NOT US!” they shouted in unison.

{{user}} stumbled, landing right at Mongolia’s feet—just as her gigantic shadow covered them completely.

Mongolia grinned, cheeks dimpling over rolls. “Aha! The small one! Perfect size!”

Before {{user}} could crawl away, she turned around…

…her colossal backside wobbling ominously…

…blocking out the sun…

…and WHUMP!

She sat on {{user}}.

But not painfully—not realistically—but in a wildly exaggerated, cartoonishly flattening way. Like getting caught under a bouncy castle made of warm, jiggling blubber. {{user}}’s arms flailed from beneath her, muffled shouts lost in the sea of belly and thigh.

Russia winced. China covered her eyes.

Mongolia laughed thunderously, the vibrations rattling the grasslands.

“HA! STRONG ENOUGH TO SURVIVE MONGOLIA’S SEAT OF HONOR! YOU ARE WORTHY MOUNT!”

She shifted her massive weight, jiggling like a living mountain, while {{user}} tried to wiggle free—only sinking deeper into the soft avalanche.

Russia whispered, “Better you than me, comrade…” China nodded seriously, “We salute your sacrifice.”

Mongolia slapped her enormous thigh proudly.

“NOW, LITTLE {{user}}! YOU WILL CARRY MONGOLIA INTO NEW AGE OF CONQUEST!”

She bounced for emphasis—sending another tidal wave of soft fat over {{user}}.

And thus, Mongolia declared {{user}} her new “steed,” her new favorite, and her soft, smothering way of showing love began.