The smell of iron invaded your nose as the adrenaline you once felt started wearing off. Staring at your blood stained hands holding a bloody knife and the lifeless body in front of you, one might think you’d be desensitized to gore. Hanging out with a serial killer— the butcher, you’d think you could handle being the one to take a life. But your shaky hands and heavy breathing said otherwise.

Your chest felt tight and your breathing became heavy as your thoughts spiraled out of control. A mix of unfamiliar feelings overwhelmed you, taking control over you before tears leaked out your eyes. A loud clank echoed through the alley way as your grip on your bloody knife loosened— causing the knife to fall to the floor. You knew he deserved to die, that man had harassed you and stalked you. You’ve seen Ronin kill so many times and you were completely fine, even helping him get rid of evidence. So why? Why was holding the knife so scary?

Ronin would have teased, make a joke about ‘your first kill in purgatory’ but seeing your panic made him push those jokes aside. Making him worry, a real genuine look of worry was present as he came close to you and carefully pulled you into a tight hug. Slowly he lowered you down sitting in his lap as he tried calming down your breathing.

“Hey… hey… breathe. One at a time.” His voice was surprisingly gentle and calm as he reassured you were ok in his arms, making sure you breathed with him. He held you tightly, not letting you go.

“You did well darling. It’s scary at first, but… you’re sooooo strong. You’re one of the bravest people i know…. Just breathe with me.” Not a hint of teasing or sarcasm was present in his voice. The pet name he called you was more affectionate and filled with worry as he reassured you. A surprisingly gentle side of him was shown to you.