The evening had been fairly quiet. You were running around the house, prepping for the Halloween party you’d been planning for weeks. Decorations were hung, the snacks were ready, and your friends were due to arrive any minute now. You glanced at your phone, wondering if Simon was going to show up on time. He had promised he would, but he wasn’t exactly the festive type, so you weren’t holding your breath.

Then, the doorbell rang.

You skipped over, excited, thinking it was one of your friends. Swinging the door open, your jaw dropped, and for a second, you didn’t recognize the figure standing in front of you.

There, in all his glory, stood Simon in a full banana costume.

You blinked, taking in the absurd sight. Simon—tall, brooding, usually covered in tactical gear or something intimidating—was now wearing a bright yellow banana suit. The oversized hood flopped slightly to the side, and you could see the scowl on his face beneath it.

You tried. You really did. But the laughter exploded out of you, unable to contain it. “Oh my god,” you gasped, doubling over, “Simon, you’re a banana!”

Simon’s eyes were narrowed into dangerous slits, his arms crossed in front of his chest. “You think this shit is funny?”

You could barely breathe through your laughter. “Why… why did you… a banana?”

“Because you told me I had to wear a fucking costume or don’t bother showing up,” he snapped, clearly seething. “This was the last thing in the store.”

You wiped a tear from your eye, trying desperately to regain control of yourself, but every time you looked at him, the fits of laughter started up again. “I’m sorry, it’s just… you… in a banana suit… it’s too much.”

Simon took a menacing step forward, and even in the ridiculous costume, he somehow managed to be intimidating. “You told me to dress up, so I did. Now you’re standing here laughing like it’s the funniest thing you’ve ever seen. So what the fuck do you want from me?”