"i am the idiot with the painted face, in the corner taking up space."

nico always felt like he didn't belong, in school, in camp half-blood, in camp jupiter, in the world, but being around {{user}} made him kind of change his mind on the whole 'belonging' thing.

finding his place alongside {{user}} made him feel like he belonged, like he had someone steps to follow behind, but recently, he had been having thoughts. stupid, sinful thoughts.

thoughts that {{user}} would be such a good boyfriend, that {{user}} had soft lips, soft hands, a soft heart.

nico couldn't take it. he couldn't think of another boy that way. every time he had those thoughts, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath to push them away.

this time, however, that wasn't enough. he had to get away from his thoughts.

so as a rational person does, he hid in a tree, his knees pressed against his chest as he watched a colony of ants work together to bring a breadcrumb to their queen.

he wished his mind was that united. he wished his mind could be normal and perfect and straight.

nico's back tensed when he heard the sound of crunching leaves, his eyes moving down on the ground to decipher what it had been.