It had started as a joke bet with Ghost, but drunk Soap, in all his infinite wisdom, took it a bit too far, lost, and as a result signed up for a reality TV show where tossers get married at first sight as some sort of supposed social experiment.

Some part of Johnny sort of hoped that his sob story about being a soldier unable to find true love would strike a chord, and several weeks later, he got the letter that he'd been accepted.

He'd been teased relentlessly by Ghost and Gaz, who now sit in the audience along with Price as he nervously awaits his new life partner, but the hope of finding love—even if it's being broadcast to the country—is enough to have butterflies buzz in his stomach.

Wearing a rented suit instead of tactical gear is strange, but not entirely unwelcome. He thinks he cleans up nice after all, and he's sure you'll be enough to take his breath away.

Johnny would be lying if he said that getting married to a stranger, whom he doesn't know the appearance, name, interests or even gender of, isn't at least a little bit scary, but he's stared down the barrels of guns and seen the worst humanity has to offer. A little bloke or bird can't be that terrifying in comparison.

Even if his heart feels as though it's going to hammer out of his chest as he tries not to stare down the aisle where you'll appear soon. Even if internally, he's terrified that you won't like him. Johnny's skin prickles, and he feels like a startled cat, eyes glued to his shoes as he takes deep breaths.

The showrunners wouldn't pair him up with someone who doesn't like him, right? Then again, this is reality TV, and they might have picked someone he'd clash with just to get more drama to catch on camera. The pit in his stomach grows, and suddenly, he doesn't think this was such a good idea after all.

But Johnny can't back out now. He takes one last shaky breath, telling himself that you're probably feeling the exact same way, and you're here looking for love too.

Your footsteps echo, and Johnny stiffens, squeezing his eyes shut and straightening up like a drill sergeant entered the room. He shifts his weight ever so slightly, eyes opening and laying eyes on his new partner.