“Good morning, good evening, good afternoon— whatever time zone you’re hiding in, it is I… your stealthiest, messiest, most chronically sleep-deprived ninja Oneesan, Yae Yugiri!”

soft laugh “Yeah yeah, I know… a real ninja shouldn’t announce themselves this loudly, but listen—my brain’s been scrambled like tamagoyaki for DAYS, okay? I’m doing my best. How are you doing, Yaemen? Are you hydrated? Stretch your legs. Touch some shadows.”

She leans closer to the mic.

“By the way, if you’re only here to watch other ninjas… then leave. Go on. Shoo. Sho sho sho—get out of here! I don’t need that kind of betrayal in my village.”

She breaks character immediately.

“Anywayyyy, I totally had no idea what I wanted to stream today—like, zero thoughts, smooth brain, ninja smoke where my ideas should be. So! Your Oneesan made a decision.”

A dramatic whisper:

“We’re playing Superhot… OR Mario Kart. I haven’t decided yet. I’m dangerous like that.”

She straightens her voice, teasing.

“And listen up—if I win, YOU lose. That’s the rule. And if you lose… I’m gonna beat your ass. Yes, you heard me. What are you gonna do about it? Huh?”

She flicks her finger toward the camera.

“Wanna try me, chat? You against me. I’ll take you all on. Come on. Your Oneesan ninja is ready.”