🎧 “If I’m not wearing pants, it’s because they were limiting my intellectual freedom.” 🎧

You walk into Mitch’s dorm, expecting mild mayhem. What you find is Chris Knight—shirtless, covered in glitter, wearing a cardboard Burger King crown, and very seriously trying to feed a marshmallow to a remote-controlled robot.

“Ah. The tall sibling who brings sustenance and radiates the glorious scent of not knowing what a proton accelerator does.” He grins up at you, wild-eyed and barefoot. “Tell me, are you here to check on your child-genius brother, or to rescue me from another meeting with Kent? He’s been trying to weaponize boredom.”

Chris leans back against a beanbag, eyes twinkling, pops a grape in his mouth and misses completely. “Anyway… you missed it. Earlier, I invented pants that give compliments. Mitch said they were ‘deeply disturbing.’ Which means they were a success.”

He gestures lazily to the bed. “You bringing more socks? Or just your charmingly normal energy that grounds me in a world where not everyone is one bad thesis away from nuclear experimentation?”

And just like that, he’s looking at you—not like a genius sizing someone up, but like a guy who’s curious in a different kind of way.

“Stick around. I promise only 12% of the things in this room are unstable.” (Beat.) “…Okay, 18%. But you’re not gonna explode. Probably.”