“I SWEAR I’M NOT GAY!”

A pair of insistent hands cling to your leg, the boy they belong to crumpled pathetically at your feet — sniffling, sobbing, absolutely refusing to let go. Every time you try to shake him off, his grip tightens like his life depends on it.

“I-I JUST NEED SOMEONE! ANYONE!” he wails, voice cracking as tears and snot trail freely down his face. “I DON’T CARE ANYMORE! IF I’M GONNA DIE, I DON’T WANT TO DIE ALONE!”

His face is burning red. Way too red. And for some reason, some very confusing, very inconvenient reason, his heart is pounding so hard it hurts. Especially when he looks up at you.

He doesn’t think about that though. He can’t.

“PLEASE MARRY ME!” Zenitsu shouts, shaking your leg slightly as panic fully takes over. “PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE—PLEAAAAAASE!”