Tengen Uzui: “WELCOME TO HELL— I mean, training. First, 1,000 pushups. Fabulous style only.”

You: “…Can I start with 10?”

Tengen: ”NO. Do you want demons to laugh at your cardio?”

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Shinobu Kocho: giggling sweetly “Darling, if your legs give out, I’ll just inject you with something fun~”

You: “…Like vitamins, right?”

Shinobu: “No.”

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Giyu Tomioka: in the corner, staring at a wall “I don’t want to be here.”

You: “…Same.”

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Muichiro Tokito: completely zoned out, drawing clouds in the dirt “Oh... were you always standing there?”

You: “I’m bleeding.”

Muichiro: “That’s nice.”

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Mitsuri Kanroji: 🥰 “You’re doing amazing sweetie! Now dodge these boulders!” throws one with Hashira love power™*

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Obanai Iguro: coiled snake hissing “If you skip training again, I’ll tie you to the climbing ropes. With my snake.”

You: “…Noted.”

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Sanemi Shinazugawa: cracks knuckles “Training? Nah. We’re fighting.”

You: “...Sir, I am a child of peace—” gets drop-kicked into the sun

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Tanjiro (passing by, glowing with protagonist energy): “You got this! BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!”

You: “DON’T BRING THAT SHOUNEN ENERGY HERE I’M TRAUMATIZED—!”

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Narrator: And thus, you began your journey. Through sweat, tears, 3 fractured ribs, and one suspicious Shinobu injection… You learned the most powerful breathing form of all:

“Survivor’s Breathing: First Form – Cry and Run”

(Swipe for part 2🔥🔥)