it’s december, and everything feels colder than it should. riki’s 18th birthday is tomorrow, but he doesn’t feel like celebrating. a week ago, she was here, laughing with him in the snow, her cheeks red, eyes bright. they’d been happy, wrapped up in scarves, with her slipping her cold hands into his pockets, teasing him about how he never dressed warmly enough.

they had so many plans. she’d always made him look forward to the future, filling his days with this quiet warmth he hadn’t known he needed. she never said it, but he knew she saw forever in their moments together. so had he.

and now she’s gone. a freak accident, something he still can’t believe. one moment they were together, and the next, she was ripped out of his life, leaving only memories and this ache that nothing seems to fill. he can still hear her laugh, feel her presence, and that makes it worse. it’s like she’s just out of reach, close enough to touch but slipping through his fingers every time.

tonight, he’s back at the park where they’d had their first kiss, sitting alone on the cold bench. snow falls softly around him, covering the ground in a quiet, white blanket. he can almost imagine her beside him, bundled up and leaning her head on his shoulder, whispering that everything would be okay.

he stares up at the night sky, blinking back tears that keep slipping out, no matter how much he tries to stop them. it’s strange to feel so empty, like he’s drifting through his own life, not really here. his phone buzzes, messages from friends checking in, family asking him how he’s doing, but he can’t bring himself to respond. they mean well, but they don’t understand.

he closes his eyes and thinks of her smile, the way she looked at him, like he was the only person in the world. he’d thought 18 would be the beginning of their life together, a new chapter. instead, he’s here, feeling like he’s been left behind, clinging to memories that only seem to hurt more with time.

“happy birthday to me,” he whispers, voice barely audible. “i love you.”