To be blunt with it, you were depressed. You had reasons of ending it all. Avada Kedavra'ing yourself.

You've been thinking about it. Waiting for the perfect day to do it. You've been contemplating, even started writing notes to people.

You know what made you hesitant? Your younger brother, James.

He started his first year at Hogwarts, while you started your third.

You didn't want to make him feel miserable, without his older sibling. You didn't want his reputation tarnished because of your death.

You were sitting with him in the Great Hall, at the Gryffindor table, him talking with his new friends. You also saw him talking to that Lily girl. She was quite sweet.