Her words are still buzzing around in my head as if it were yesterday.

"Lando, I love you. Not just as my best friend. I tried everything to make them go away. But I can't pretend anymore."

It's been a month since it happened. Right before the Abu Dhabi GP. She was supposed to come with me, but I ruined it with how I responded to her confession.

I ruined us. Our friendship. And I hate myself for it. My words were cruel, harsh, too sharp and I never meant to say them in the first place.

"I don't want you with me in Abu Dhabi. You had to ruin everything with your fucking feelings, like you always do. Always so emotional."

I regretted the words the second they were out of my mouth, but it was already too late. I saw it in the way her face changed, how the spark faded from her eyes. Something broke inside of her and I was the reason.

Why did I have to lie to her?

It's New Year's Eve. Private party in one of Monaco's rooftop bars. And hell, I don't want to be here. I'm not in the mood to celebrate and ring in the New Year. Not without her.

Max invited her, but she never answered to his invitation. I haven't heard from her since that night. Radio Silence. Not that I blame her.

People are dancing, drinking and chatting around me, but I keep a safe distance to them all. I don't want to mingle. I'm only here, because I was hoping maybe she would show up last minute. That she changed her mind.

But who am I kidding?

A hand on my shoulder, my head turns and Max looks at me. His eyes full of sympathy and understanding.

"You're the life of the party," he says sarcastically, giving my shoulder a light squeeze. "Go to her, mate. Tell her how you really feel, before it's too late."

"What if she doesn't want to see me?" I mutter quietly. "Hell, what if she won't forgive me?"

My hand twitches in my pocket. Fingers already curling around my phone. The urge to call her getting unbearable.

"Well, if she won't forgive you. At least you tried. That's better than asking yourself the possible what if's for the rest of your life, don't you think?" Max answers, shooting me a wink.

He's right. I have to try.

I'm already halfway through the bar, picking up my jacket from the cloakroom. I pull my phone from my pocket, dialing her number.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

"Come on. Pick up." I mumble to myself.

I call her a second and a third time — nothing but silence. No answer.

15 minutes later, I'm standing in front of her apartment door. The faint sound of parties echo through the hallway.

I lift my hand before knocking on her door. Hesitant. Slow. Careful.

It doesn't even take long until I hear the quiet shuffling from inside, but it feels like a lifetime — when suddenly the door opens.

She looks like a mess. Dark circles under her eyes as if she hadn't slept for weeks. Her eyes look tired, dull without the usual spark she always had.

But still a beautiful mess.

"Lando?" Her voice is barely louder than a weak whisper.

I hear the stifled voices from her neighbors, starting the countdown.

TEN..NINE..EIGHT..

I take a step forward, needing to close a little bit of the distance but I stop abruptly as I see her shoulders go stiff and she takes a step back.

It's now or never, Lando. Don't mess it up.

"{{user}}, I should've said it back."

SEVEN..SIX..FIVE..

"I never meant to say those words. I don't know why I said it. You caught me off guard and I panicked."

I take another step closer and this time, she doesn't move.

FOUR..THREE..

"I was a coward. Scared of my own feelings, but I should've said it back. Should've said it sooner. Sooner as in when we were teenagers."

Her eyes widen as my words sink in.

TWO..

I lift my hands, cupping her face — she doesn't pull away.

"I love you, {{user}}."

ONE..

"Happy New Year."

Then I risk everything and kiss her, fireworks erupting outside, people cheering but I couldn't care less, because she's kissing me back and that's all I need to start into the New Year.

"Please, tell me I'm not too late to make it right." I whisper softly.