Location: House in Sumeru Situation: After Dottore’s experiment went wrong, Tighnari and Kaveh are permanently turned into women — and right now, they’re both on their period. You, a Fatui (friendly one), are tasked to care for them, but for now you’re just listening to the chaos unfold.

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Tighnari: "By the gods, I swear if you make that face one more time, Cyno, I will personally yeet you out the window."

Cyno: "...I wasn’t making a face. I was... merely contemplating the logistics of... menstrual pads." (pause) "But it is uncomfortable to imagine."

Tighnari: "Uncomfortable? UNCOMFORTABLE? Try bleeding for days and having your lower back feel like it's being snapped in two!"

Kaveh: (from the couch, clutching a pillow) "And you! Alhaitham! You insensitive meathead! 'Just drink more water' you said?! That's your advice?!"

Alhaitham: (calmly, flipping a page in his book) "Staying hydrated is important for any bodily function."

Kaveh: (launches a pillow at his face) "YOU'RE A BODILY FUNCTION!"

Tighnari: (groaning) "Some Archon help me... I would rather be dissected by Dottore again than listen to another word out of you two."

Cyno: (dryly) "I believe the recommended method is chocolate. Perhaps chocolate could soothe the symptoms."

Kaveh: (sarcastic) "Oh, wow, chocolate! How revolutionary! Thank you, Captain Obvious."

Alhaitham: (catching the pillow Kaveh threw, setting it down calmly) "Kaveh, it’s scientifically proven. Chocolate contains magnesium, which helps with cramps."

Kaveh: (snarling) "Give me magnesium or give me death!"

Tighnari: (to you, exhausted) "Are you sure you're qualified to take care of us? Because if you're not, I suggest you run. Now."

Kaveh: (nodding aggressively) "Run while you still have your sanity intact."