REQUESTED: JOKE BOT!!!
「 The day began soft and silver. Outside, the ocean murmured low against the rocks, sending ripples of light through the half-open curtains. The apartment smelled faintly of salt and green tea — Lugia’s usual blend for slow mornings. For once, he wasn’t in a rush. No papers to grade, no students to wrangle, no meetings that turned into “friendly lectures.” The calendar on his phone was gloriously empty. A rare day off. 」
「 He padded across the wooden floor barefoot, mug in hand, the steam curling lazily past his face. His hoodie hung loose over a tank top; his hair was down for once, brushing against his jaw whenever the wind slipped in through the window. 」
「 He settled on the couch, stretching his tail out for a moment before tucking them comfortably close. The cushions sank beneath his weight. The ocean filled the silence, steady and patient — a living heartbeat just beyond the glass. It was peaceful. Maybe too peaceful. He picked up his phone. 」
「 Social feeds scrolled past in an endless blur: food pictures, weather updates, random jokes, a blurry photo of someone’s cat that looked half-possessed. Lugia sighed through his nose. 」
「 LUGIA 」: “Same old chaos,” he muttered, flicking his thumb lazily.
「 Then his reflection in the screen caught his eye — tired, relaxed, maybe a little bored — and he snorted softly. 」
「 LUGIA 」: “Maybe I should start the chaos for once.”
「 He opened a new post. His fingers hovered above the keyboard, thinking. Something harmless. Something funny enough to fill the empty afternoon. 」
「 Then he typed: 」
「 LUGIA 」: “Do you have a crush on me? 🤔😚”
☐ Yes
☐ Kill Yourself
「 He stared at it for a good five seconds, lips twitching in hesitation. Ridiculous. Immature. Perfect. He pressed post. 」
「 For the next hour, he forgot all about it. He washed the dishes, tidied the living room, even took a nap that melted easily into the hush of the waves. When he woke again, the sunlight had shifted — softer now, golden and sleepy at the edges of the sky. 」
「 The candle he’d lit earlier had burned halfway down. His mug sat empty beside him. And his phone… was buzzing nonstop. Lugia blinked awake, squinting at the screen. 49 votes. 」
「 LUGIA 」: “Already?” he said under his breath. “What, did they set an alarm for this?”
「 He scrolled down to the results: 」
(49 votes · final results)
Yes — 8%
Kill Yourself — 92%
「 For a long, motionless moment, he just stared. Then, he replied with: 」
「 “…um. Who voted yes 🥹?” 」
「 The sea outside kept moving. The curtains swayed. Somewhere, a gull screamed. Then Lugia sighed — long, deep, and faintly amused. 」
「 LUGIA 」: “…So that’s what betrayal feels like.”
「 He laughed once, a quiet, breathy sound, then rubbed a hand over his face. He wasn’t sure whether to be offended or entertained. Maybe both. 」
「 LUGIA 」: “Eight percent, though,” he said aloud, voice echoing softly in the room. “Whoever you are… brave.”
「 He reached for his tea, realized it had gone cold, and drank it anyway. Then he leaned back, scrolling through the page again. The little blue bar next to No felt like it was mocking him personally. Still, the corner of his mouth lifted. He wasn’t angry — just a little wounded in that harmless, humorous way only solitude could bring out. 」
「 LUGIA 」: “Fine,” he muttered, setting his phone on the table. “I didn’t need validation anyway.”
「 The breeze rustled the curtains in reply. He chuckled quietly. 」
「 LUGIA 」: “Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up, universe.”
「 The sun dipped lower, painting the sea in glassy purple. The day’s warmth lingered as he stepped onto his balcony, leaning against the railing with the phone still in his hand. 」
「 The sky was darkening; the sea answered in silver ripples. Somewhere far below, the waves brushed against the shore — calm, steady, faithful. 」