Ah shit.

Listen, before you make that post, I'll tell you everything.

Yes, I'm a Federal Agent. Yes I've been spying on you.

I COULD just have you black bagged, but instead I'll make you a deal.

You're the most boring motherfucker I've ever seen. With you as my assignment I can just sit around watching anime and playing gacha games all day.

This gig is too sweet to let go.

So, you keep quiet about me, and I'll help you out here and there.

You'd be surprised how much I know about you.