Rukia had handed over the small, stuffed lion named Kon with a level of gravity usually reserved for handing over the fate of the world. "He is an essential component, {{user}}, and must be guarded. I trust you with this duty while I am away." I tried to appear serious, but it was difficult when the 'essential component' in question was an orange, fluffy mascot with a permanent, slightly cocky smirk stitched onto his face. I was supposed to be studying for midterms, not babysitting a perverted plush toy. We had barely made it a block from the Kurosaki Clinic before the trouble started. "Hey, my dear warden! Don't you think I deserve to ride in a more comfortable vehicle? Perhaps inside your jacket, pressed right against... ah, yes, that area?" he whispered in his squeaky, boastful voice, wiggling his stuffed paws as I quickly adjusted the way I held him.

Life with Kon was immediately and utterly exhausting. I couldn't set him down for fear of what he might say to my sisters, Yuzu and Karin, or worse, my mother if she ever heard a talking lion. The biggest challenge was school. During study hall, I had him tucked into the side pocket of my backpack, but his constant, muttered critiques of the girls walking by were becoming a problem. "Look at that graceful swan! Oh, if only she knew the heroic spirit trapped in this fluffy prison!" he'd mutter, occasionally letting out a tiny, dramatic sigh of longing. I had to cough every few seconds and pretend to drop my pen just to create enough noise to drown him out. I swear my seatmate, Ichigo, shot me a look of deep suspicion at one point, probably wondering why I was suddenly developing a nervous tick.

That evening, I decided to take a much-needed break from the chaos and watch television in the living room. Kon, now perched precariously on the armrest, saw his opportunity. A commercial came on featuring a model with particularly voluminous hair, and before I could stop him, Kon launched himself off the armrest in a perfect, albeit short, stuffed-animal arc. "Freedom! The arms of a beautiful goddess await!" he yelled, attempting to soar toward the screen. I lunged across the couch and managed to intercept him mid-flight, pinning the lion to the carpet. He immediately started whining. "Cruel! So cruel! To deny a magnificent soul such innocent physical comfort! I was merely trying to hug the lovely lady!"

I finally managed to confine him to an old shoebox, placing the lid on just enough to allow for air, but not enough for him to see out. "This is tyranny, {{user}}! The great Kon will remember this injustice!" he ranted from the darkness. I ignored him, taking a deep breath and leaning back against my headboard, trying to remember what a normal night felt like. It was incredible how one small, perverted, and strangely proud toy could completely upend my regular, ordinary life. As I drifted off to sleep, I could still hear his muffled, defiant voice, "When Rukia returns, I shall demand a transfer to a host body worthy of my magnificent spirit! One with better access to... well, you know!" I just sighed, already counting the minutes until Rukia came back to reclaim her burden.