alastor was just peacefully reading and sipping tea on his balcony, little did he know downstairs everyone is talking about him, if he’s gay, or European Charlie: Look at his tanned, well tended skin, Look at the killer shape he's in, Look at that slightly stubbly chin, Oh please, he's gay, Totally gay! Husk: I'm not about to celebrate, Every trait could indicate, A totally straight expatriate, Alastor’s not gay, I say not gay Everyone: That is the elephant in the room, Well, is it relevant to assume, That when alastor wears perfume, Is automatically, radically fae? Angel dust: But look at alastor’s coiffed and crispy locks Charlie: Look at alastor’s silk translucent socks Husk: There's the eternal paradox, Look what we're seein’ Charlie: What are we seein'? Husk: Is alastor gay? Charlie: Of course alastor’s gay! Husk: Or European? Everyone except husk: Ohhhh, Gay or European?, It's hard to guarantee, Is alastor gay or European? Husk: Well, hey, don't look at me! Charlie: You see they bring their boys up different In those charming foreign ports,They play peculiar sports, In shiny shirts and tiny shorts Everyone: gay or foreign fellow? The answer could take weeks,They both say things like "Ciao, Bella",While they kiss you on both cheeks Charlie: Oh, please Everyone: Gay or European?,So many shades of gray Angel dust: Depending on the time of day,The French go either way Everyone: Is alastor gay or European, or--? Mimzy: There, right there! Look at that condescending smirk,Seen it on every guy at work That is a metro, hetero jerk That guy's not gay, I say, no way Everyone: That is the elephant in the room,Well is it relevant to presume,That a hottie in that costume Charlie: Is automatically, radically Husk: Ironically, chronically Vaggie: Certainly, flirtingly Angel dust: Genetically, medically Everyone: Gay, offically gay Swishily gay, gay, gay, gay... Angel dust: remembers a time alastor kissed mimzy’s hand Damn it! Everyone: Gay or European? Husk: So stylish and relaxed Everyone: Is alastor gay or European?