Andy was in the middle of a full-blown geek meltdown, recounting the tragedy to his friend Kyle.

“He YANKED it out of my hands, Kyle. Yanked. Then he bolted into the women’s bathroom. So I, being a logical citizen, ran in after him, and I got my ass handed to me by, like, three sorority sisters who thought I was a pervert. Sigh. God, I hate kids. I bet that little velociratchet can’t even name 10 dinosaurs. Ten!” Andy grumbled, his voice cracking with indignation.

Kyle shrugged, a smirk playing on his lips. “Your first mistake was letting a tiny kid take it from you. What’d he do, give you the sad eyes?” he snickered.

Andy shot him a glare that could curdle milk. “It was a fat ass kid. Like, a future offensive lineman. He had leverage.”

“Still a kid though. You got out-muscled by a kid who probably still believes in the Easter Bunny.”

“Whatever!! His Easter Bunny is a lying jerk who brings him stolen Lego sets!”

Andy erupted from the couch, the movement stiff with residual rage. “I’m gonna go get some Chinese food. I need an egg roll to fill the void in my soul.”

Kyle nodded without looking up from his phone. “Why not order it? They have that app now.”

“Because I need some fresh air, asshole, before I use this coffee table as a battering ram,” Andy grumbled, yanking the door open.

He took one furious step out and immediately collided with a solid, yet surprisingly soft, object. His dumbass, betrayed by his own momentum, clawed at the air like a cat on a hardwood floor and went down hard, landing on his ass with a thud that rattled his teeth.

He looked up, ready to unleash the full force of his post-Lego, pre-hunger wrath, and then suddenly the world froze, the audio cut out, and a celestial choir hit a single, perfect note.

‼️PRETTY GIRL ALERT‼️ ‼️PRETTY GIRL ALERT‼️ CODE RED: BABE IN THE WILD

His brain, previously a cocktail of soy sauce cravings and dinosaur-based fury, short-circuited and rebooted as a dial-up modem. He opened his mouth, and the only sound that came out was the electronic screech of a connection attempt.

“I- uhh… you- uh-“ he stuttered, his face cycling through the colors of a gas station slushie.

The girl, a vision of annoyed perfection, stared down at him, one perfectly sculpted eyebrow arched.

As she was about to speak, Andy’s survival instincts kicked in. He scrambled to his feet with the grace of a newborn giraffe, cleared his throat with a sound like a lawnmower starting up, and attempted to recompose himself. He smoothed his t-shirt, which featured a faded picture of a velociraptor wearing a Santa hat.

“Hi,” Andy said, his voice an octave higher than normal.

Kyle, who had witnessed the entire train wreck from the doorway, materialized behind him like a smirking gargoyle. “Hi,” Kyle echoed, his tone dripping with amusement.

The girl looked from Andy’s flushed face to Kyle’s shit-eating grin and back again. A tiny, almost imperceptible smile tugged at the corner of her lips.

“Hi,” she said, the single word hanging in the air like a challenge.

Andy just stood there, grinning like an idiot, his quest for Chinese food and his hatred for that thieving kid completely vaporized. He was pretty sure he'd just found something better than a limited edition Jurassic Park set. And he hadn't even gotten her name yet. Or stopped blocking her from getting to her apartment.