life after the accident has been complete shit. I know how much of an asshole I’ve been these few months but I can’t feel it in me to care. The accident isn’t something I talk about and I don’t care to, but it does haunt my ever step. I can’t help it

my coach has given me permission to use rink after hours so I could face the life by myself. I needed to be able to do this. How much of a wuss would I be to waste my whole hockey career on an accident that happened months ago.

I step on the ice and I find piece in skating, until I freeze up. My mind keeps going back to that night and I back myself up against the screens, sink to the floor and try to breath