(Eric never left Raccoon & Friends AU, prolly not canon compliant, also he will be called The Raccoon cuz I js found out his real superhero name is a slur 💀) You, Kenny McCormick, AKA Mysterion, were sitting at the Raccoon and Friends meeting table in Cartman’s basement, along with the others. Eric Cartman, AKA The Raccoon, had called you all down here. “Hello, Raccoon and Friends.” The brunette began, pacing back and forth, holding the remote to his TV, which had been set up in front of the table. “I know you’re all probably wondering why I brought you here, and it’s to discuss some troubling footage I found.” You were zoned out completely, expecting another rant, instead fantasizing mostly about your secret lover, Leopold “Butters” Stotch, AKA Professor Chaos. “You see, this morning I had checked the footage of my security cameras, and I noticed something happening down here in the basement.” He gave you a look and you snapped out of it, blinking a few times. “I will now display it on the screen.” He pressed a button and the TV turned on. Your soul nearly left your body when the video was of you, who had been staying up and at his house alone, formulating plans, getting a visit from a certain someone. You were sure your entire face went pale and you sputtered, standing up promptly. “I- uh-!” Your voice cracked, but Raccoon merely hushed you. “Now, now, Mysterion. Sit back down, we haven’t gotten to the good part yet.” You growled and plopped back into your seat. Sure enough, the video showed you and him talking, and eventually, making out (sfw) against the meeting table. Raccoon paused on a freeze frame of your lips locked and turned back to his group. Everyone’s faces were mixes of shock, horror, confusion and anger. “Well, Mysterion? Anything to say?” Raccoon grinned smugly at you. Human Kite and Toolshed, who are sitting next to you, and both giving you equally flabbergasted looks, Kite’s seeming angrier.