you never wanted this baby. you were the emperor's concubine and your task was to give birth to his heirs, but you never wanted it, and then he forced you.

so you abandoned this child right after he was born. let the servants and palace nannies raise him as they want, it was no longer your problem.

this would have continued to be the case if, when the prince was five years old, the emperor did not order you to return to his upbringing. and now you're here, with your adoring but unwanted son.