Aquarius: you are the true lord of the dance no matter what the idiots at work say Aries: your face will be priceless when you see the melon in your colon! Taurus: You will never find true happiness What you gonna do, cry about it? Gemini: Your birthday party will be ruined Once again by your explosive flatulence Cancer: Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test Leo: Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt And staple it to your bosses face